Journal entries [circa 2001-2007]

There is a lot more to these entries than what I've extracted - but for your sake I have omitted the less coherent parts or parts that paint me less sane than I am comfortable.

#1

What we can invent is bounded by our imagination, and our imagination is bounded by the mental material we have to manipulate. Until one thinking entity (computer?) knows everything the word impossible will always exist.

#2

Science is also a religion.

#3

"He who does not cherish life stands to lose it carelessly."

#4

Please don't fear the reaper.

#5

I am surprised at myself for having a document of this kind. I am obviously either exploring my own creativity or I really need a friend.

#6

I am a mystery, even to myself.

#7 (13/6/04 "Our Betrayal")

Truth is for the ignorant

Faith is for the blind

Hope is for the meek

Trust is for the inept

Love is what those unable to support themselves

or satisfy themselves have for those entities

they cannot be happy without

Hate is for those too prided in themselves
to admit their own weaknesses

I have the choice to be satisfied or not

Emotion is for those who will die

to make the meantime more interesting.

Death is for the impatient

I didn't need to live, no one did

I never gave consent to be created

Life is for those out of control

Give me power, give me strength

give me satisfaction but not a reason to live

Just give me the reasons we know

and acknowledge our own existence

Fear me for I am NOT YOU

For I fear You for not being ME

Jesu art our saviour, in our blindness

we have stumbled from the path

make us right

in the eyes of our Father

#8

"You dare go where angels fear to tread."

#9

Who am I to be so luck ridden?

#10

Human

The will to write.

If it's an hour of power, it's an hour of typing.

Heck, I could just keep typing for the next couple days. Wouldn't that make for really interesting reading!

Not.

Welcome again dear Reader to my blog "Week now, to let me see your pain".

Post, post, post, postie, post post. Typie type type.

Yeah, so back when I used to write everything down I would just keep writing a single sentence until there was nothing on the page but a pure unadulterated stream of consciousness hitting the page in a slow progression of immediacy and truth that no thought were crossing my mind other that these very words now laid out before you ahahaa how about that for live crosses to the inner workings of one said Author of a blog that you are now reading hahahaah oh boy am I taking you for a ride this is going to be a hell of a jouney you are going to go through the deepest darkest most frightful recesses of your mind and mine that you will come out having survived a great adventure and wrought your name in the annals of history with a chest of treasure on the back of your pony whos name is sam.

That went well.

I want to talk around the issue of manhattan island.

"Fake it till you make it"

It's time for a new blog. Invariably your author comes out with a cypher for a title. He would like to say "Not so.".

In this age driven by new technology and understandings we are more aware than ever before of the human condition. We have previously unheard of advantages at our disposal to capitalise upon it's weaknesses, and subvert it's defences. In a recent article on emotion sensing glasses on New Scientist it was found that in minute changes to a persons face during conversation, the true feelings going through their minds at the time were laid bare. Such technology renders a person's façade transparent, despite their efforts to cover it up their emotions with language and mannerisms.(See http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21128191.600-specs-that-see-right-through-you.html?full=true)

I wonder what would happen if you put these glasses to the test versus a highly skilled method actor. Years of experience in living life in front of an audience/camera for all intents and purposes portraying as well as FEELING the emotion they act.

Many method actors also face issues, at times their personality affects their acting and vice versa. In spending so much time inhabiting a different personality are there structural effects on the brain? Because of this forced concentration on subversion of existing personality is the actor BECOMING the character?

Known as cerebral plasticity, and when put to good use, we can train ourselves to be better at things like memory or perception, and in turn our minds and the physical brain that supports it change.

This is also true of perceived negative effects, that if I were to live hastily and without thinking my brain would adapt to this level of activity, and conversely if I were to act intelligently I would gradually be better at decision making and situational understanding.

Are some people brains faster in this change or is everyone's brains able to change, albeit at the same rate?

"Fake it till you make it" identifies a "self fulfilling prophecy" that by acting in such a way for long enough there is a trend that in acting a certain way you are training yourself to be that certain way.

Similar to my previous posts, and in quotes I like to keep around mental sovereignty and positive self talk or mental lucidity I would like readers to know that everything inside your mind is true - and the more that this truth stamps out it's place as part of you the more control you have over yourself. Willpower is something that comes with practice, that when you feel momentum behind you pushing you onwards, keep going. It will take you places and before you know it you're somewhere. Rather than nowhere.

Also, the closer to the speed of light you get the less you are affected by time. So when you have a busy day and before you know it you've reached the end of the day, you have actually travelled through time faster. Not a huge amount.

Anyway, you have all the weapons you need. Now fight.